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Elastic Bands I think I am over being sad about Joe, and then shit kicks in...I was watching my favorite new show, The Sunday Night Sex Show...this really funny show from Canada with an older woman who talks so candidly about cock rings and stuff. It's a great show. Good info about sex, although I have to say that Loveline is better, not just for the humor of Adam Corolla, but Dr. Drew is also more intuitive than the old broad from Canada...he has more insights into why people do things. Anyhow, the lady from Canada was telling someone to put an elastic band around their wrist, and snap it against their wrist anytime they felt the urge to feel bad about themselves...and it reminded me of Joe. There was a while some years ago when he was wearing two elastic bands around his wrist, and he kept snapping them, and I was like, "Why are you doing that?" and he said he wanted to remind himself of something. I was like "What are you trying to remind yourself of?" and when he wouldn't say, I was like, "Teresa?"...and he said yes. He wanted to remind himself of how Teresa had abandoned him (in his mind). Teresa, I don't know you, I only met you a few times. Maybe you are a good person. Maybe Joe was obsessive over you, and I think he was. But I think you enjoyed and encouraged him doing that. I know you took money from him, and paid him back only partially. And when you DID pay him back, you gave him less than you had borrowed from him, and you put the check in a fucking puzzle box that he had to figure out the way to open. And even after he and I smashed that puzzle box open with a hammer...your check bounced. I know you were a bitch to him on the night that he died. And I know that you didn't go to his wake or funeral, and that you left town soon thereafter. Well, Teresa, I think that shows some guilt on your part. I hope someday you come across this diary. I hope you see what part you had in Joe's death by reading my diary. Ok, back to my point...Joe used to snap those fucking elastic bands on his wrist, and it pissed me off. It's a little detail, but one of those things you see and when you think, "hey, I'm over crying"...you cry again. I'm actually not crying as I write this...but, damn...I miss Joe. Miss These?
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