The old crazy shit I did I still think ED thoughts, sometimes...that's Eating Disordered thoughts for all of you out there in the non-ED world. I still wish I was horribly skinny. I miss the whole ED shit sometimes. And, most of the time, I am so glad that I am over that shit. But I still wish I was horribly skinny. Luckily, I put on this skirt tonight that I last wore at Joe's funeral, a year and a half ago, and the skirt was big on me now. It's weird, I'm thinner now than I was when I was fucking myself up with binging and purging, abusing laxatives, etc. I don't obsess about food like I used to. Food just seems like food now, it's not like it was before. Food is just food, it's something I need to exist. Like water. I'm doing ok now. My baby has a lot to do with that, although I got my shit together even before I met him. He reinforces my sense of myself. Miss These? |