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joe This is something I wrote a few months ago in my journal about my boss and good friend, Joe. I wrote this on October 1, 2000. Well, I've been putting this off for a few days, but finally feel ready to write it down. I want to record this while the details and my emotions are fresh in my mind. As much as I don't want to remember all of this later, I also don't want to forget. The phone rang at 6.50 am on Thursday, September 28, 2000. I was sleeping and ignored it. It rang again at 7.10 am. I ignored it again, but sat up and checked my messages. Two messages from a very somber sounding Michael asking me to call immediately about some urgent news. I called right back, and he let me know that Joe had taken his life that morning. He then told me a brief version of what had happened, but the version I'm going to write now is one based on a lot of details that have all come to light in the past few days. Joe had started calling some people (Tom, his parents, Pat, his brother, and Michael) at around 11.00 pm, saying he was going to commit suicide, and wouldn't give his whereabouts, so people starting calling 911. Michael got a call at about 1.00 am, and Joe told him that he was at the new restaurant site, and was going to hang himself there. Michael jumped in the car and went up there, but Joe wasn't there. Joe was talking to a lot of people, and someone figured out that he was back at his apartment by then. The police, Michael, Pat, Joe's parents, and Joe's brother went to his apartment. Joe was evidently in quite a hysterical state. He had slit his wrists, and according to the news, was bleeding quite a lot. He climbed from his balcony onto the roof, but then went back inside. He smashed out a few windows, and evidently started tearing the kitchen apart. The police were trying to get in, and finally Joe unlocked the door. When they opened it, he was standing there with a knife in each hand, screaming at them to shoot him, and "cop assisted suicide". Allegedly, he lunged at them with the knives and they shot and killed him. This was at 2.00 am. Joe had been out drinking at Bistro Zin with Don and Heather, Fernando and his wife, and Teresa and her boyfriend. According to Don and Fernando, Joe was drunk enough that they worried about him driving, but not out of his head drunk. He had been hitting on Teresa so much that Fernie's wife was afraid Teresa's boyfriend was going to kick his ass. Other than that, he seemed like his usual self. They all left there at 12.30 am. Joe had gone outside and to the bathroom at some points, and that must have been when he made the earlier phone calls. When Joe was shot, his parents, Pat, and Michael were all in the parking lot, listening to the shots. Miguel was on the phone with Michael, and so heard the shots too. It's all so horrifying. I mean, those of us who knew Joe well, KNEW that he was depressed, and that he talked about suicide sort of often, and that he said he wouldn't live to be 40. But he had been that way for as long as anyone had known him...even people who had known him 15 years or more. So you could never know if he REALLY meant it. I think a lot of us DID know, deep down, that we would get the call one day, that Joe had locked the door and blown his head off, or taken an overdose and gone to bed. And that would be bad enough. But I think what is SO shocking to all of us is the crazy VIOLENCE and CHAOS of how he died. And it's frustruating and sad for all of us to see how he is being portrayed in the media...as a fucking psychopath. When we all know that he was SO not that. He was the best boss I've ever had, and a really awesome and loyal and supportive friend as well. He just finally lost it. But I still don't think he wanted to go out in a blaze of craziness. I think things just started spiraling and got more and more out of control until he just saw no way out. So that's it for now. I'll write more later, but that's all I can handle for now. Miss These?
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