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Jason Second semester of junior year, high school. I don't know why things started to get better. I've said it before in this diary, it didn't hurt that I spent holidays in England. Didn't hurt, either, that I was driving a vintage Mercedes convertible, a 1968 250SL...I miss that car. When I first started driving, my parents gave me my older brother's car, a Toyota Corolla. I was a HORRIBLE driver, so they immediately recognized that I was going to get into a crash, and put me in the Mercedes, a car that was gathering dust in the garage, because they knew I'd be safer in the Mercedes. Germans know how to build tanks, that was the logic. So I had the 250SL, awesome car, I seriously miss that car. Except putting the convertible soft top up took two strong men, and the transmission went out every 6 months, so I could hardly ever even know what "reverse" gear meant, it never existed. But it was a great car, white body with blue stripes and a blue soft-top. It was many things combined, but all of a sudden, I was popular. I had a boyfriend, and although he wasn't "cool", he was, in a weird way, because he was the top actor in the drama community. I guess my high school was unique in that it actually rewarded kids for doing well...I never skipped a day in high school, and that was cool. I was in the "enrichment" (honors) program, and that was regarded as cool. I remember thinking that doing drugs was un-cool, even pot. Of course, we all drank a lot...perfect Catholicism, right? Alcohol is fine, but the rest of that... It was kind of weird to be popular suddenly. People started hating me. I started hating myself. But I also started loving myself, and believing it. I started being shitty to people. I hadn't done much with any boy before that...Chad was my first real love. He turned me on so much, I used to gasp with pleasure with him. But it was all playing around. I also had met this guy named Jason, and he was incredibly good-looking, he was a year older and at a different high school. He had been voted "Best-Looking" in his class, and he was interested in ME. I was so flattered. He invited me to a few parties at his house, and things were usually out of control by the time I got there. Weirdly, his mom was usually completely drunk when I would get there, and I would end up consoling and listening to her while the party raged on in her house. I'd usually put her to bed. I was 16. Weird. I remember going out to get ice cream for her one night, and when I got back, she was passed out. I wouldn't have sex with Jason (although he tried), so he lost interest in me in that way, so we remained friends. He ended up going out with this girl, Lindy, who I vaguely knew through my friend Jessica. Jessica is one of my best friends, and I had heard of Lindy through her. Lindy and I ended up on the same tour of Europe, and at that point, Jason and Lindy were a couple. I remember being in England in July, the Wimbledon results were being broadcast on the radio, and it was hot as hell, and Lindy said, "Jason wants to talk to you" and handed me the phone. He said, "I love you, I love you" and I was like, "What the hell are you doing this for? Don't fuck over Lindy!" I'll continue this stupid story later. Miss These?
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