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weird family stuff Had a nice dinner with parents and my cousin, Barb. She was here for the day, and I really like her. I think she is about 45 years old, but she is very cool. She and I are very much alike. My favorite cousin, by far, which isn't really fair because I hardly know any of my other cousins. She lived with my family when she was in college, and we were pretty close, then. I guess I must have been about 6 or 7 years old then, but I remember her as being so cool to me. She told me a few stories tonight about what I was like as a child. It was cool. She always said that she never wanted children, but she married and had two boys (they are 14 and 16 now). She and her husband divorced, but have been extremely civilized about the whole thing. She basically gave up rights to the boys, and her husband has had most of their custody. I think it's interesting...she always knew that she didn't want kids, but caved into peer pressure. It's hard to explain. I have always said that I don't want kids, and people always say, "Oh, you'll change your mind". Well, I'm 32, and I haven't changed my mind. Barb keeps in touch with our family more than I do, and she had some info that was kind of sad to me...my cousin, Bradley, is basically a career criminal. I don't know all of the things he has been incarcerated for, but he has been in and out of prison since he was like 18. I think he must be like 45 now. The last time I saw Bradley was in 1996, and he looked like a typical Michigan small-town redneck...he was wearing fatigues and boots and a hunting cap. Since then, he has been in prison quite a bit, and I guess he now has tattoos on his eyelids of eyeballs. I always have thought that once you get tattoos on your hands, you are making a conscious choice to no longer be able for a professional type of job. Well, eyelids...he has made a choice. Barb says that he looks like an ex-con, which, I guess, is what he is. It just breaks my heart, and I may have written about this here before, but I'm going to do it again. When I was a little kid, and we spent summers in Michigan, I ADORED Bradley...he was SO sweet, and SO good to me. When I was little, all of my cousins were older than me, and I loved them so much, but especially Bradley. His dad was a fucking jackass who beat Bradley on a regular basis, and publicly. And I mean, he BEAT him, he fucking punched him and shit. Bradley was such a sweet kid to me, he took care of me. I know Bradley could have made different choices in his life...but I still remember that sweet boy who protected me when my other cousins wanted to send me down the laundry chute at my Grandparents' house. He was fucked over by his asshole dad. I hate that guy. Miss These?
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